Hello All,
I have a question, not of the theological kind, though maybe of the existential type. Some of my fondest memories include our trips to places like the Suwanee River, Cumberland Island, and various of the excursions to waterfalls and mountains up north. I think on those times and remember so much about them vividly, like they happened 5 days ago. From the freakishly persistant skeeters on Cumberland to the color and taste of Suwannee Aligator Water. I remember sitting up on one of the high river banks and preparing for the wind and I remember sitting on that beach for two days trying to keep dry feeling very alive and cold and excited and fresh. I don't really ever feel fresh here. The closest I get is through running, and there are all sorts of metaphors locked away in that idea.
My question is why those moments are isolated memories, why are they the all too infrequent breaks from the 'real world.' Why is it that we all love it so much, that we feel so alive, no longer numb, why does it hold the mystical allure that it does? Why can't it become the status quo, what is the reason that we are all still here, bound ball and chain to an urban, material, time consuming lifestyle. What makes us go out of our way to busy ourselves here, what makes us never stop. What makes whatever it is more important than the botanical gardens, or even moments outside in downtown athens with nothing but our own entertainment to get lost in.
Is what makes those moments away from here beautiful and vivid and alive the fact that they are so rare and distinct from every other moment of every other day? Or is there something more primitive to it. Why the allure? And if it is so strong, then why not place ourselves in a position to experience it more. Why do the 'roads and pavement gray' always win out. Why does this have to be the 'real world.' Why does a hyperclear and frigid mountain stream have to be an anamoly, an abberation in our lives?
It is depressing to think that every thing we do now is in direct conflict with those things that we desire the most. That whatever it is here supresses the other, more pure, more fresh, more personal desire, the more personal introspective connections that we don't know here. I see this place like a shroud over the natural, one which I refuse to address. I have acquiesced to it and don't know why.
2 comments:
Recently I have been pondering that same question. For the last year and a half I have completely devoted myself to school and as a result impaired relationships with former and potential friends all for the sake of a few numbers that I receive at the end of each semester.
I desire to do well in school, but even if I succeed I still feel empty inside. When I am honest with myself, the quality times spent with the EE group back in college have taught me more and made more of an impression in my life than all the knowledge gained from reading dusty law books.
I was watching "As Good as it Gets" the other night, and when Jack Nicholson asks the other patients in the waiting room "What if this is as good as it gets?", it struck me, is me watching a 10 year old movie on my couch all there is? Will I eventually slip into a routine that I will grow to despise? Will my ravenous search for the fruits of earthly life leave me tired, disgruntled and lifeless? Am I doomed to continue my course towards a life of mediocrity and comfort, or am I willing to give it all up for a life enjoying the things that I really love. The costs seem too high.
Our society pummels us every day with images of success and materialism and the false sense of happiness that will accompany earthly wealth. But I am foolish to blame these problems on society. My own fear, sin and lustful craving of success drive my actions. I have the tools to take a path that will enable me to experience nature, friendship and love in the way God intended.
But I don't think it's too late. We are all where we are because of the gifts that God gave us. While I would love to enjoy the beautiful rivers and streams of Appalachia, I am not that good of a fisherman. God has another path for me, but I just have to hear him over the sin in my life.
We love and appreciate the experiences with one another in nature because they are so rare. Being largely separated for the last 18 months has made me appreciate them all the more. But I know that following God yields the same emotions, just in different settings. I must just muster the courage to listen and follow.
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