Hello All,
I have a question, not of the theological kind, though maybe of the existential type. Some of my fondest memories include our trips to places like the Suwanee River, Cumberland Island, and various of the excursions to waterfalls and mountains up north. I think on those times and remember so much about them vividly, like they happened 5 days ago. From the freakishly persistant skeeters on Cumberland to the color and taste of Suwannee Aligator Water. I remember sitting up on one of the high river banks and preparing for the wind and I remember sitting on that beach for two days trying to keep dry feeling very alive and cold and excited and fresh. I don't really ever feel fresh here. The closest I get is through running, and there are all sorts of metaphors locked away in that idea.
My question is why those moments are isolated memories, why are they the all too infrequent breaks from the 'real world.' Why is it that we all love it so much, that we feel so alive, no longer numb, why does it hold the mystical allure that it does? Why can't it become the status quo, what is the reason that we are all still here, bound ball and chain to an urban, material, time consuming lifestyle. What makes us go out of our way to busy ourselves here, what makes us never stop. What makes whatever it is more important than the botanical gardens, or even moments outside in downtown athens with nothing but our own entertainment to get lost in.
Is what makes those moments away from here beautiful and vivid and alive the fact that they are so rare and distinct from every other moment of every other day? Or is there something more primitive to it. Why the allure? And if it is so strong, then why not place ourselves in a position to experience it more. Why do the 'roads and pavement gray' always win out. Why does this have to be the 'real world.' Why does a hyperclear and frigid mountain stream have to be an anamoly, an abberation in our lives?
It is depressing to think that every thing we do now is in direct conflict with those things that we desire the most. That whatever it is here supresses the other, more pure, more fresh, more personal desire, the more personal introspective connections that we don't know here. I see this place like a shroud over the natural, one which I refuse to address. I have acquiesced to it and don't know why.